Oh God, take me away.

You know, I think my love affair with Berlin may have come to an end. There, I said it. It's painful to admit, but its purpose for me has been fulfilled, namely allowing myself to drink and party my way into listless stupidity, teaching me the valuable life lesson that I don't, in fact, want to be an alcoholic It-Girl. With this accomplished, I am left stumbling round a city that can offer me very little in terms of career advancement, and that has started to feel less like home the more I live here. Subsequently, I am bored out of my mind and miserable. I am also soooooooo broke, wie immer.

Oh, Gott. Woe is me. How horribly, horribly self-indulgent, moaning on about one's problems on a blog, of all places. It's disgusting, and I apologise. What I need is to do is to start doing some stuff to entertain myself. As the Boyfriend (who is both wise and sage) says "only boring people get bored". And the irony is not lost on me that I am posting this on a day when I have actually failed to leave the house. Shame on me, I'm going to make a list entitled "Things to do to avoid being bored and getting so whiny that you end up losing all your friends not to mention what little self-respect you have left", and follow it to the letter. Lists make everything better.

Brokety, brokety, broke.

Again. Seriously, I have no idea how I do it. And no, I'm not one of those fools that says that whilst fondly gazing at the new 80 euro boots she just bought herself. I swear to you, I do not really buy things unless absolutely fucking necessary. I had to force myself two weeks ago to buy some jeans and flats because my other jeans and flats had two holes apeice in them, and had done for months. I haven't had a haircut in about seven years and God knows, I barely spend money on things like cosmetics (I only really wear foundation and mascara as, in the words of many who have tried to get me "into" other eye make-up, I look "um...yeah..really fucking weird" wearing much else).

All of this then begs the question WHERE THE HOLY HELL IS ALL MY MONEY GOING? I have racked my brains and racked my brains and still have no idea. Which leads me to the uncomfortable conclusion that my lack of funds is still down to the worst of all financial pitfalls, the Drunk Withdrawal. You know the one, the "ish only two a.m, and I wansh more vodka ansh stuffs, so fucking wash if there'sh no Postshbank cashpoint in the Naehe, I'll jussst fucking use thisssh one, fuck the six euro chargsh". SIX EUROS? Are you fucking insane? That's a delicious Vietnamese feast at Hamy PLUS icecream after, you drunken nutbag.

Oh well, I figure being broke keeps me qualifying as living on the edge, despite my steady job (as a teacher, ffs) and steady beau (do I miss the days of actually having to entertain the thought of going home with the maniacs only I seem to attract in clubs? HA!). And, as we all know, living on the edge keeps one hip and attractive and away from trouser suits, which is bound to be a good thing.

Happy Weekend Everyone!

This weekend happiness is being sent my way from several quarters. Hope yours is too.

1. The weather is all lovely and sunny and warm again. But also BREEZY so not GODDAWFULLY SWEATY. An important distinction, that.

2. The Boyfriend and I (I say "and I", I will be having little to do with it, really...) are making carnitas today. I have never eaten carnitas before but anything to do with Mexican food, tender pork and the Boyfriend's cooking is bound to be good.

3. Glee. If you haven't started watching it, do. Show choirs singing and dancing to uplifting and jazzy songs, teen drama and the struggle of committed teaching staff to do right by their pupils? It's like it was freakin' MADE FOR ME.

4. I'm back at work so I got to spend the week in the company of hilarious minature people who tell you endless stories about their Grandma and the time they saw a crab.

5. Fantasing about taking Alexa Chung out for cake. Such, such a pretty girl, and I think she could actually be quite cool and we could hang out and talk about music and clothes and stuff, but such, SUCH a great need for cake.

I have to go and shower now, in preparation for a nice sunny stroll to Hermannplatz for the purchasing of a pig's ass meat. Unless the BF has been using my limited grasp of the technicalities of Mexican food/what happens in the real world to mislead me for his own amusement, that is what we are actually doing today.

Life Administration.

Sucks. Big time. You know what I mean, all the boring useless crap like sorting out health insurance and opening and closing bank accounts and general useless boring crap. And Sweet Baby Jesus Lord, is there a lot more of it to do over here. I'm never moving house again. Except of course that I am. Again. In two weeks. Or at least I will be if I ever find a fucking place to live.

Hopefully, hopefully I have a place sorted, though that might not be avaiable til mid-October, by which point I'll be so bloody fed up I'll be ready for the hills. I'm just hoping it'll be okay becuase I think any time I spend on Wggesucht is damaging to my health. Seriously, will noone, NOONE, pick up on the irony of writing a three paragraph description about how "unkompliziert" their flatshare is? Christ Almighty, it's enough to make me miss the mad estate agents of Dublin who used to show us round flats (after the initial wait of an hour whilst he went back to the office to get the right keys) that had knives in the toilet bowl.

On the plus side, the weather is still nice, I'm going to tapas in a bit, and someone wonderful made me a yummy burger yesterday. All is not lost, all is in fact going pretty okay.

Holy Sweet Jesus Lord.

It is HOT. I am going through cold Club Mates and cold showers like they're going out of fashion. And today, I swear it, is lake day. I have yet to get my lake on in Berlin, but the time has come to submerge myself in some cold Wasser. So, so sweaty.

Another fantastic advantage of the soaring temperatures is the fact that Berlin customer service reaches a whole new pinnacle of unpleasantness. A few tips, if I may, to New Waitresses Everywhere; I know it's a million degrees, and starting a new job is stressful but, and here is the key thing, none of this is actually MY fault. If you're not ready for my order don't bark the customary "bitte schoen" at me and then, upon hearing my order of THREE, not twenty, THREE ITEMS, growl "uuuuh, klein Moment"whilst rolling your eyes manically at me as if I just asked to fellate your boyfriend rather than have some waffles. If you're new, just smile, say sorry for being SO FREAKIN' SLOW, explain your newness and then everyhting will be nice and I won't feel like punching you or crying or both.

Ahem. Lake time it is.

Oh My Goodness...

So I was reading this blog, which linked me to this post on another. And now I'm crying. But in a good way. Read it and have your faith in humanity do a wee jump. It's made me feel all yummy and happy and I'm going to spend te rest of the morning drinking tea and looking at cottages in the west of Ireland so things are only going to get BETTER.

Have spent the weekend...

...stony, stony broke as I won't get paid 'til the morrow. Subsequently, I have spent my days lusting after things I cannot at this very moment have. Some of these things are mere pipe dreams, and others are things I may very well treat myself to tomorrow, or as soon as I locate them.

CAKE. Now, anyone reading this who actually knows me will point out that about 90% of my time is already taken up with lusting after cake, but when I can't actually literally afford any cake this creeps up to around the 98% mark. Particularly as I recently discovered the Brezel Company on Lenaustrasse in Neukoelln. Oh but their cakes all look delicious and I can vouch for the chocolate and pear tarte as genuinely being so. Their waffles also will make you (well, made me..) make incomprehensible but very appreciative sounds for a lengthy amount of time. Do it, you won't regret it. Unless you are some sort of dreadful anorexic/bulemic type person, when you might well regret it, in which case, go away, this blog is NOT FOR YOU.

SAILOR DRESSES. Goddamn you pretty sailor-dress clad girl that I saw at the clothes-y type market where the Turkish market usually is, you have made my day a hell of wanting. Well, not really, but it was a damned fine sailor dress and now I can picture myself in nothing else. Seriously, is there anything more cuter and flimflammerier than a big collar and a blue-and-white colour scheme? I think not.

A REALLY GOOD LOOKING BLOG. Like this one, which is delicious looking and shows a million lovely things in its posts. I will never have such a thing, of course, due to the frequently referenced lack of computer savvy and general laziness*, but a girl can dream.

A COUNTRY HOUSE WITH A GARDEN BY A LAKE. I don't think this one needs any explaining, as I sit here gently sweating as I type. Oh, what I wouldn't give to spend this muggy night skinny dipping and lying on a lawn looking at the sky with just the moon and some very select company looking on.

Happy Summer, everyone.

* And also possibly the fantastic eye for style and design that this girl has.